BUBBA 6

I was actually able to finish this race with some amount of control. Bike was running great, the HR was in check along with the wind. I got to say that the course was so great for my style. There was a ton of flow to every part, and plenty of areas to keep speed. 3 laps in a group of Denny, Dan W, TK and myslef formed. Denny was the first to go off the back, then Dan. I knew this was trouble with just me and TK. He played the bell lap to perfection. Pretty much perfect timing on the jump, and I could not even bring it down to a sprint. We got a few more weeks left, I am just hoping this is not the top end of my fitness for the year.

I feel weak for bailing on the last Alton race, but shit happens, and I feld compelled to make the LV work day no matter what. There are great things happening out at Lost Valley, and St. Chuck in general. There is a proposed 1.2 miles of trail going in by December. It will be flowing contour trail with some sections of rock, but mostly hardpack that is handcrafted for flossing. That means the Luau will be freaking awesome!! RIGHT?

The Path To Becoming a Hardman

Here is an update, mostly for my benefit. Somtimes it feels good to vent verbally. Somtimes it feels just as good or better than emptying your soul in a race. My plan is to become a hardman. I think 3-5 years of legit training should get me there. I guess its more about the journey than the destination. The hard part is not letting the day to day obstacles slow you down, or get you down. I would like to share my MANTRA. I first read this back in highschool. I look back on it from time to time to re commit myself. This short story by Mark Twight gave me the idea of what to name this blog.

TWITCHING

Twitching with Twight

BY MARK TWIGHT

What's your problem? I think I know. You see it in the mirror every morning: temptation and doubt hip to hip inside your head. You know it's not supposed to be like this. But you drank the Kool-Aid and dressed yourself up in someone else's life.
You're haunted because you remember having something more. With each drag of the razor you ask yourself why you piss your blood into another man's cup. Working at the job he offered, your future is between his thumb and forefinger. And the necessary accessories, the proclamations of success you thought gave you stability provide your boss security. Your debt encourages acquiescence, the heavy mortgage makes you polite.
Aren't you sick of being tempted by an alternative lifestyle, but bound by chains of your own choosing? Of the gnawing doubt that the college graduate, path of least resistance is the right way for you - for ever? Each weekend you prepare for the two weeks each summer when you wake up each day and really ride, or climb; the only imperative being to go to bed tired. When booming thermals shoot you full of juice and your Vario shrieks 7m/sec, you wonder if the lines will pop. The risk pares away life's trivia. Up there, sucking down the thin cumulus, the earth looks small, the boss even smaller, and you wish it could go on forever. But a wish is all it will ever be.
Because the ground is hard. Monday morning is harsh. You wear the hangover of your weekend rush under a strict and proper suit and tie. You listen to NPR because it's inoffensive, PFC: Politically Fucking Correct. Where's the counter-cultural righteousness that had you flirting with Bad Religion and the vintage Pistols tape over the weekend? On Monday you eat frozen food and live the homogenized city experience. But Sunday you thought about cutting your hair very short. You wanted a little more volume and wondered how out of place you looked in the Sub Pop Music Store. Flipping through the import section, you didn't recognize any of the bands. KMFDM? It stands for Kill Mother Fucking Depeche Mode. Didn't you know? How could you not?
Tuesday you look at the face in the mirror again. It stares back, accusing. How can you get by on that one weekly dose? How can you be satisfied by the artifice of these experiences? Why should your words mean anything? They aren't learned by heart and written in blood. If you cannot grasp the consciousness-altering experience that real mastery of these disciplines proposes, of what value is your participation? The truth is pointless when it is shallow. Do you have the courage to live with the integrity that stabs deep?
Use the mirror to cut to the heart of things and uncover your true self. Use the razor to cut away what you don't need. The life you want to live has no recipe. Following the recipe got you here in the first place:Mix one high school diploma with an undergrad degree and a college sweetheart. With a whisk (or a whip) blend two cars, a poorly built house in a cul de sac, and fifty hours a week working for a board that doesn't give a shit about you. Reproduce once. Then again. Place all ingredients in a rut, or a grave. One is a bit longer than the other. Bake thoroughly until the resulting life is set. Rigid. With no way out. Serve and enjoy."You see your face reflected there in a sweating brow, you hate what you see, but what can be done when there's no way out, no way out?" The Chameleons, "Intrigue in Tangiers"
But there is a way out. Live the lifestyle instead of paying lip service to the lifestyle. Live with commitment. With emotional content. Live whatever life you choose honestly. Give up this renaissance man, dilettante bullshit of doing a lot of different things (and none of them very well by real standards). Get to the guts of one thing; accept, without reservation or rationalization, the responsibility of making a choice. When you live honestly, you can not separate your mind from your body, or your thoughts from your actions."If you really want to hurt them and their children not yet born tell them the truth always". Henry Rollins, from the book See a Grown Man Cry
Tell the truth. First, to yourself. Say it until it hurts. Learn the reality of your own selfishness. Quit living for other people at the expense of your own self, you're not really alive. You live in the land of denial - and they say the view is pretty a long as you remain asleep.
Well it's time to WAKE THE FUCK UP!
So do it. Wake up. When you drink the coffee tomorrow, take it black and notice it. Feel the caffeine surge through you. Don't take it for granted. Use it for something. Burn the Grisham books. Sell the bad CDs. Mariah Carey, Dave Mathews and N Sync aren't part of the soundtrack where you're going.
Cut your hair. Don't worry about the gray. If you're good at what you do, no one cares what you look like. Go to the weight room. Learn the difference between actually working out and what you've been doing. Live for the Iron and the fresh air. Punish your body to perfect your soul. Kick the habit of being nice to everyone you meet. Do they deserve it? Say "no" more often.
Quit posturing at the weekly parties. Your high pulse rate, your 5.12s and quick time on the Slickrock Trail don't mean shit to anybody else. These numbers are the measuring sticks of your own progress; show, don't tell. Don't react to the itch with a scratch. Instead, learn it. Honor the necessity of both the itch and the scratch. But a haircut and a new soundtrack do not a modern man make. As long as you have a safety net you act without commitment. You'll go back to your old habits once you meet a little resistance. You need the samurai's desperateness and his insanity.
Burn the bridge. Nuke the foundation. Back yourself up against a wall. Have an opinion one way or the other, get off the fence and rip it up. Cut yourself off so there is no going back. Once you're committed the truth will come out. You ask about security? What you need is uncertainty. What you need is confusion; something that forces you to reinvent yourself, a whip to drive you harder. "I never try anything - I just do it. Want to try me? White Zombie, "Thunder Kiss"
In Dune, Frank Herbert called it "the attitude of the knife,” cut off what's incomplete and say “now it has finished, for it has ended there.” So finish it, and walk away, forward. Only acts undertaken with commitment have meaning. Only your best effort matters. Life is a Meritocracy, with death as the auditor. Inconsistency, incompetence and lies are all cut short by that final word. Death will change you if you can't change yourself.
“If I can change one, then I can change two. If I can change two, then I can change four. If I can change four, then I can change eight. If I can change eight, then I can change.”One Minute Silence, "If I Can Change"

LBL

My top three pics are Valverde, Chavenel, and Andy Schlek. All three have been building good form, and also have some pretty good results this year. Valverde has been somewhat elusive of late due to some issues with the Italians. I would like to see Chavenel do well. He is a versatile rider, and does not have big time team mates to work for.

I have been riding hopes of these three winning the Amstel, and Fleche. No W's for them so far. Andy Schlek put in a great ride on Sunday with a top 10 at amstel, and a 2nd place finish yesterday at Fleche. Andy has been off the map some, but looks to have good form. He was in the winning move with Davide, which is to say, he did not blow up like cadel evens, and was able to keep his acceleration going. But still, for a 37 year old, Davide played his cards like a true master of the trade. He won the race with good legs(not the strongest). But the determining factor was the mental game he played. We did not see much from Chavenel this week. Valverde was in great position for the third and final climb up the mur de huy yesterday. He hit the climb with a lead out from a team mate, 3rd in line. He was also in a great spot when evens attacked. Still no podium finish.

In all I think Saxo Bank has a well rounded team. Right now both of the Schlek brothers are in and so is Fabian. Frank had a bad crash at Amstel, so he might be out. I would rather go with Frank on this. He has had more results this year than Andy.

Time to Put Out

Boonen is on the start list for Gent. Sunday is his chance to defend last years PR win. I cant wait for the action. I really want to see him do it. He is going to have to put out and take the initiative though.

Der Ronde

I watched Der Ronde with MJ and Christopher yesterday. Man what a great race. Devolder made some big moves that got him the win. What a man beast. Hienrich looked to have good form again, but obviously did not have what it takes to win this big dog race. He finished 1:10 back, and only 1 sec in font of Gillbert. For me the disappointment came in Boonen. He was with Stijen the whole race, was on his wheel when Stijen bridged, and was also in the pack at the finish. I would have atleast liked to see a field sprint out of him to get on the podium. This is all under the context of his interview where he stressed the importance of this race. I know there are politics involved with being a marked guy in the peleton, but if he is on form, shouldn't he be able to shut down any followers? And I can help but think "What IF" Boonen would have followed Stijen up to Chavenel(who had a great race BTW). The trio, arguable the three strongest in the race, could have waxed anyone that opposed the move. Maybe Boonen is going for 2x this weekend. Either way, he is running out of chances to etch his name into the 2009 Classics. Just one mans opinion.

Will he be able to carry his form for one more week?

The manbeast on the race winning attack. About 16km to go on the MUUR. He put 45 sec on the chase group in the next 3km, and rode solo to the line with a little encouragement from his manager in the car. He is defiantly grunting while getting his swell on.

Soggy Britches

Saturday was the Gorc workday at Greensfelder. It was going to be a wet one for sure, but I forged on. I dropped my car off at the shop, which is at the bottom of the hill on Allenton, pretty convenient. I brought the bike along to get me to the top of the hill. Secretly, I was hoping that someone (Scott) would roll along and pick me up. Exactly on time, Scott P. rolled up and let me hitch a ride to the top of the hill. At this point, the wind was terrible, but no rain had come around. We got to work right away on a re-route section, about 20 vertical feet above an old section from last year. The new design will contour more of the hillside. The rain began to fall as we were benching. We got about an hour of work in before Bryan shut it down. I wasn't going to say anything while working, but I was glad he made the decision. Scooter gave me a ride back down to my car, sparing me the decent in a raging down pour. I was pretty soaked at this point. Good news on the car, nothing wrong with the transmission. So I quickly headed back up the hill to the Muckerman shelter for some good times and free beer. I also got a look at the sweet new carbon epic. Nice.

I bailed on the Rim Wrecker race. After getting wet on Sat, I was a little less motivated to go through the motions on Sunday. It kind of sucks to miss out on an Epic, but there is plenty of time left for that. Also, not this really makes a difference, my priority race has been move up a month to April 19th. LBL Canal loop race was originally in May. This is a race I wanted to be prime for. On the up side, now there is a great race to go to in April, that is only 3 hours away.





Follow up Pic from the LV race.

It felt really good to lay down some power in yesterdays competition. I have not raced since CX state Champ race in December, so I was felling a little rusty at the start line. I was with the pack on the flat start(nice right?) but got scared as we neared the drop in. I backed off and was pretty much last coming down the hill. I gained a few spots on the climb. By the time we came over the top of the first climb, the group had separated a bit. At that point, my heart rate was cosmic, and the grip on my legs was so bad I though I would get a bruise. I tried to hang on but was struggling to even hold a wheel. The new section of singletrack was pretty sweet in my opinion. Once it is worked in, it will be smoking fast like the roller coaster at Cwood. On the back side of the course, I worked in with some master classs expert riders I think. We had a train going until the second section of singletrack. At that point, I blew up sky high, and it took me about five minutes to recover. I was able to catch MJ's wheel at the top of the gravel climb on the second lap. I knew for sure he had an allen tool, so I bummed it and made a quick adjustment to my seat post that had slipped slightly. I was afraid to over tighten it that morning, and paid the price for that one. I rode most of the second lap with Christopher, but that train ended abruptly with a sidewall cut on the switchback before the creek. No big woop, this race was still fun as hell!!

The stumpjumper rides like a dream. I pretty much have no way of describing it, only the feeling of pleasure. I am happy with how I performed, and cant wait for more!! Bring it on, cause I bringing everything I got.